Eleven Fifty-Two

I love you
I hate you
I'm mad at you
I need you
Emotional chasms flutter like fireflies
Uncertainty is almost certain
Confusion is in play
What to do
What to think
All signs foretell the outcome-pain
But love is blind
Back against the wall
How can I be both?
Immature and mature at the same time?
Haunted by commitments, teased by passion
Confusion takes over, leading to depression
But Alas,
Behind every cloud lies a silver lining
What goes around, comes around
What goes up must come down
My grief now, amounts to your guilt later
Ah, bitter sweet victory
I dry my eyes
And I see it-a rainbow amidst the storm
To be or not to be
Tell or leave secrets untold
Do I stay?
Do I go?
At 11:52, who the hell knows?

Black to White

Our culture
Filled with slavery
Darker than that-
Can you imagine picking cotton?
Experience changes pyridine
Abuse causes moral systems to shift
By societal standards-
A family man
Who do u think you are?
Everything is everything
Something,
Anything,
My life
Not yours

If Only...

I listened
But I did not hear
I didn't want to hear
What they had to tell me
They are wrong I thought
They don't understand
They are from a different era
They can't understand so I went
Did as I pleased
The next thing I know
I had fallen captive
Of the very thing they warned
Now I must suffer
Face the consequences
Accept my penance
If only I had listened
If only I had heard

Rebirth

Butterflies in my stomach
A flicker between my knees
The very thought of your touch
Leaves me breathless momentarily
Your body next to mine
I'm now hungry for your kiss
I'm hungry for you
Heart racing
Adrenaline pumping
Tantalizing tastes on my tongue
I thirst for more
The rhythmic beat of two hearts
Can now be heard beating as one
As two hearts have collided
And a new, much deeper love is born

Massacre of the Heart

Daddy’s girl
Church girl
Smart girl
Happy girl
Blue skies
Clear sailing
Think again
Suicidal Intentions
A massacre of the heart
Bloody Murder
A soul has vanished
Into the nothingness of oblivion
A part of ME died
The day you broke HER heart

Then...Now

If you could have seen the way I felt…then
Plastered on my face
You would have gazed into eyes of pain
That floated in seas of tears

If you could have read about the way I felt…then
Written on my heart
You would have peered on pages stained by heartache
And read a soliloquy that had no end

If you could have heard the way I felt…then
Played by the beat of my heart
You would have heard a melody with one note
In a key so low it has never been heard

No matter the circumstances…then
Change is imminent and one thing rings true…now
I’m not less of a woman because you left
But you would have been so much more of a man had you stayed

Like Totally

I have this guitar right
And I like play it right
And I like, like it right
And it's like awesome right

I have this phone right
And I like talk and text on it right
Like 24/7 right
And it's like my life right

I have this FB profile right
And i'm like on it right
Like all the time right
And it's like all I do right

I have this bible right
And I like read it...right?
And I like, like it...right?
And it's like......
It's like...
...

Mystic Blue

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
What is the meaning of it all?
Have you ever seen the sea of glass
As it pierces through the flesh of time?
The aroma of crimson penetrates the air
Casting the shadow of the blue moon
Atop the fluttering trees as they struggle
To regain the voices they once lost
Their captor now being hushed away
By the gentle breeze
As she goes to meet her penance
For yet another season
If you listen closely you will hear her
Pleading, whis.....per.....ing....
What is the meaning of it all?
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
May her soul R.I.P

Just Do

Don't say you love me
Because you don't
Don't say you'll trust me
Because you can't
Don't say you'll be there
Because you won't

Say you'll be there
When you will
Say you'll trust me
When you can
Say you love me
When you do

Don't say...Just do

Me and My Pen

Alone in this world
Stuck in a realm of darkness
It's just you and me...no wait..
It's just me now
Against this wretched place we call our world

I just want to be left alone
Let me wallow in my sorrows

Self-pity, yes,
But I don't care
Who are you to judge me?

I'm broken
And tired of conforming to the qualms of this world
Do this they say, be that they say
But who was there when my world was turned upside down?
Who was there as I laid in a pool of wretchedness?
Who was there to help me through it?
My friends, the world?
I think not

Just me
Me and my pen

Secret Love Affair: Ode to My One True Love

From I wake in the morn
Til I sleep at night
It is you that captures my thoughts
An unexpected thief you came
With no warning you stole my heart

The first time my lips touched yours
It was like heaven
A release like no other
Tantalizing tastes on my lips
A caress so soft,
So sincere

I tried others but nothing else compares to you
You blow my mind,
Send me into pure ecstasy with each repeated taste….
It’s like my lips were made just for you
You and you alone
Nothing else will do
It is you that I want
You that I crave

Oh sweet, sweet cookie
You are the one for me!

Wait and See

NO! I am not okay
I cannot get you out of my mind
I think of you constantly
And I wonder if you are thinking of me too
Even though deep inside, I know that you are not
Because you are probably thinking of...
Well you know...

Ha! It's funny how you thought I didn't know
Yes, I knew
How could I not
I just thought- if I ignore it, then it can't be real
I needed validation from no one
It was there all along
Didn't want to believe it
Didn't want to accept it
But I knew
Probably even before you would admit it to yourself

Don't try to save me anymore
Don't shield me from anything
Live your life in the open
Free from secrets
Accept what you have...
Who you have
And move on

I knew we were not meant to be
And if we are, not then
But I can't shake this feeling
These emotions that still lurk in the shadows of my mind for you
I think about you way too much...
You said "people change"
Well yes that's true
But have you ever stopped to think
That it may not really be-change
But that they just learned finally learned to "accept"
And give into what was there all along?

Your love for her you stifled
Then came me...
Did you even give us a chance?
I gave you my trust...
My heart...
I gave you —ME
All that I had left
But you were still never ALL mine

My head tells me it was for the best
But my heart is stubborn
It won't listen
And now I constantly wonder
Does he hurt?
Did he ever?
Hmmm....hard to believe that he did
But, I hope for his sake
What goes around,
Does not come around
For the hurt that I felt
Hurt I still feel...
I wouldn't wish on my greatest foe

I wish you luck with HER
Hope she's everything I WAS, AM not
As for me...
They say time heals all
Well I guess we'll just have to wait and see

What About Me?

So you’re happy?
I get it
But did you ever stop to think...
What this did to me?
Do you ever think…
I wonder how she feels?
I wonder if she’s hurt?
Do you ever even think…
About anyone but her?

You turned me inside out….
Made me love you…
I hate myself…
For falling so deeply…
So immensely…
So openly

Now you’re always there…
I can’t get away…
But somehow I’m still always alone…

You’re happy…
Ok I get…
But what about me?

He Said, She Said

I’m strong you said…
I’m calm you said…
I’m laid back you said…
I make you laugh you said…
I’m supportive you said…
I’m the one you said.

You’re cool I said…
You’re sexy I said…
You make me laugh I said…
I’ll accept you I said…
I’ll support you I said…
I’ll love you I said.

So…

I loved you…
You were mine…
I was yours…

But…

Only for a while

Now…

I’m too weak you say…
I’m too loud you say…
I’m too lame you say…
I cry too much you say…
I’m too whiny you say…
It just isn’t there [anymore] you say.

And…

She’s strong you say…
She’s cool you say…
She’s tough you say…
She makes you laugh you say…
She has it all you say…

She’s the one you say…

But...

I was yours I said...
You were mine I said...
I was there I said...
I loved you I said...

I...I…